1. |
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hold my breath for 20 seconds
hope that someone comes to mention
you or the way you move
like you're warm static floating
or some sweet candy coating
stuck between my nails
i want you to break me down
and lift me out
and kiss some truth
into my mouth
let me sleep when I'm too high
and never have a bad goodbye
floating through the drug store aisle
and you break me down with that smile
let me wander in denial
i want you to reshape me
into some pure form
of what you want or had before
and love me when my dress gets torn
and hold me close and don't get bored
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2. |
happy hour
01:51
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i will tear my insides out
to find tangled pieces of you
i will meet you between
my daydreams and the real thing
i lock the doors when you're here now
i will carve you from the air
i will tie you in my hair
keep you there
let you speak
pretend you care
ill be sorry until i puke
clean me up
make me new
then re-realize you resent
everything i do
you fucked me up
and left me out
and kept this dryness in my mouth
i have no words
i have no sounds
i am just stumbling around
hiding seeking
waiting to be found
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3. |
a morning i woke up
02:16
|
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post-apocalyptic dreams taste the way you would
and all the trees and teenagers would try you if they could
even when I'm fucking up you say I'm still your angel
and all the snarls in my hair are just to make my halo
we started out so beautiful and now we're just all mangled
wearing through this skin we're in our sheets they just stayed tangled
i was just 16 yrs old when i first lost my mind
in a summer metro ride to the faceless ghosts inside
the times i said i'd care for you and the promises i made you
got me bored and sick again
so i went and i betrayed you
I'm the rust that your blood will soon change to
to get inside and poison you
and love and rearrange you
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4. |
alaskan spring break
02:07
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don't cast another spell on me
my stomach is weak from the things i need
lost some hair and lost some friends
no drugs no dreams no end
in the corner of your room
we talked about yr mom
the apocalypse is coming soon
i know it won't be long
alaska on my mind,
treat me cruel and treat me kind
swallow me in the night
make me sorry, make me blind
i wanna be a warmth that lives inside yr restless body
i wanna be yr melting snow
yr family pet yr empty home
alaska on my mind,
love me well, love me blind
choke me with your cold spring fingers
let me whimper let me linger
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5. |
home in your clothes
01:52
|
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will you look at me like you still think im lovely
when im tearing the love from your hands?
and cutting between the lengths of your fingers
as delicately as i can?
will the clocks stop when i stop saying your name
and your ghost gets out of my mirror?
are you lonely with only me to blame?
sad and boring, take my soul away.
am i abstract am i concrete
either way you dont want me in any world we could meet.
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6. |
blood
02:30
|
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let me tangle into you spit cobwebs in your mouth
til i get bored and tired and wanna let you out
you speak like you're water but you're not you're just someone who doesn't know they are warm and clean and pure
oh my love won't you tell me what you like?
hang from above and keep me up all night
oh my love theres blood on my hands
wipe it off and swear you understand
maybe if i hold my breath for twenty something days
then i can die and float around and fit inside
the places of your world that no one knows
they are warm and they are dark and no one goes
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7. |
honest
01:54
|
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i found you in the patterns of the weather
the clouds that come apart and move together
the rain was warm like the time you told me
i have no name or no heart im just this body
love me well, laugh when im choking
love me to hell, mock me when im hoping for you
the snow on the car on your last birthday
say my name like you want me to stay
i am so lost in this world without you
you kept me still you kept me warm and brand new
touch me again like that way you promised
ill never cry, ill never be honest for you
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8. |
breaking
03:07
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when i closed my eyes
it was always you i'd find
standing there with nothing to hide
and every time you spoke
i could feel you in my throat
crawling out to get back into my mouth
i'm not what you wanted
i'm just something you've forgotten in your mother's hair
i can feel you breaking
every day you wake up aching for someone that wasn't there
all the things you dreamt
and all the things you never meant
are in my skin and in my bones and in my breath
i can feel them in my sleep
and when you're standing next to me
your hands are so far from my hands,
like you said they should be.
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